The Words I Never Said

Life; what an adventure we embark upon in our pursuit of happiness. We are so certain of what we want, and what we want out of life, that we forget how uncertain life is. One minute you have everything planned, and life is going great. The next minute not so much. You lose a friend, people move away. But you get back up, and move on with your life, and the pursuit continues. But while you continue on, one can forget to say the words that needed to be said. You have every intention of saying them, you just get busy, or the perfect opportunity hasn't arisen yet; you're in a rush and so you say to yourself, "they know" or "I'll tell them later" Later becomes a day, a week, a month, a year, and then you realize you never really said the words. Eventually, they can't hear you anymore, and it becomes so loud in your head with the words you should have said and as you drown in regret, you realize; you can't take back the words you never said.

You get to a point where you don't know anymore. The original reasons don't seem important, and you begin to wonder if you made the right decision. After you come to this point, you begin to replay everything in your head. Everything. Every moment, every word, every time you walk away or just ignored it. You realize you're holding back tears. Your vision is hazy; and then it hits you. You’ll never get that lost time back. You’ve known this fact since childhood, like many things from childhood, you took it for granted. You didn’t fully understand the value of the present, too busy imagining what life could be, never fully appreciating what your life was. Neglecting what you had for what you thought you wanted.

I started writing this over a year ago, I was in a dark

I’m slowly becoming the person I should’ve been a long time ago.